


Strange Bedfellows

by Katkiller_V



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Illium (Mass Effect), Omega (Mass Effect), Romantic Comedy, Unusual relationships, Violence as Flirting, Work In Progress, hangovers, violence as foreplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9177649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katkiller_V/pseuds/Katkiller_V
Summary: Waking up in pain wasn't anything new to me, in fact you could call it normal. Waking up in pain, in the same bed as one of the most dangerous psychopaths in the galaxy? That was decidedly less normal. Of course, that was just the beginning of a long, often terrifying, occasionally amusing journey made all the more interesting for the danger of it.





	1. The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> This is intended to be a bit of a fun story, featuring a first-person OC who ends up in a relationship with the galaxy's least stable Warlord (aka; Jona Sederis). It uses characters taken from my other stories and thrown together, all of it set as if it was happening a couple of years after the Reaper Wars have ended.

When I woke up, it was to pain.

Now that wasn't an unusual occurrence for me, not even slightly. If anything the days when I woke up and I _wasn't_ hurting were the oddities. Though usually it was due to the dull, low-body aches earned in combat or from working out too heavily the day before. My high tolerance for alcohol, combined with the fact that I tried to avoid overdoing it meant that hangovers, though not rare, weren't exactly common.

And I couldn't remember the last time I'd had one _this_ bad.

My head had a low, dull throb that seemed to accompany each heartbeat, and even with my eyes closed it felt like the world was spinning around me. A dull throbbing sound was making itself known in my right eardrum, and my back was killing me, like I'd pulled half of the muscles doing something. My neck joined the symphony of pain when I shifted a little, trying to find some relief against the odd warmth of my pillow. The last time I remember feeling anything like this bad was after Trena and I had gotten into a drunken fist-fight over something or another.

Had we ended up brawling again? It was entirely possible, knowing scales and I. Frowning slightly, I tried to focus on just what the fuck had happened the night prior, but it didn't help overmuch. I remembered showing up at the mansion's bar, arguing with her about something or another when we were about four drinks in, ordering drink number five… and then a confused blur that I couldn't even being to try and process.

Great… I'd gotten black-out drunk, something I'd managed to avoid doing in the last four years. Super fucking genius Cieran. All I could hope was that I'd kept enough of my brain intact to avoid saying anything stupid in public. But that was something I could worry about later, first I needed to get up and find some water and pain medication.

My train of thought broke off slightly as the steady thrumming in my ear continued, but as consciousness continued to return to me, I belatedly realized that it was something I could only hear in the one pressed into the pillow that was moving every couple of breaths. Almost like breath…ing… oh. Right.

Well… shit. At least I was… oh. Crap. I wasn't wearing clothes.

Bracing myself a little, I cracked a sleep-crusted eye open, and almost immediately flinched as sunlight assaulted it. But the brief glimpse had been enough to see scaled blue skin sprawled beneath my face.

An Asari then. Well we seemed to still be alive, so she probably hadn't melded with me, but I was less concerned with her species and more concerned with who she was. There were only a few hundred Asari who lived and worked in the mansion-slash-fortress, and as many as a thousand more probably bustled through on a daily basis for one reason or another.

I was bracing myself to try and open my eyes again when the woman beneath me let out a long groan of her own, sucking in a breath that made my head dip downwards before suddenly rising. I could tell when she realized that she wasn't alone because the steady motion abruptly stopped a few moments late.

The cessation of breathing was followed by a warm hand touching my shoulder. Warm fingers poked at me, as if she was trying to figure just what I was, and then shifted before a hand all but grabbed my head. If anything my hair seemed to confuse her, and it was a good dozen slow breaths before she stopped touching and feeling it.

"A human?" The voice was exhausted and strained with its own hangover, but I recognized it. My heart all but stopped. I _did_ stop breathing entirely as my brain short-circuited, apparently attempting to bash its way out of my skull to flee the room while it still could. "What are you still doing in here girl? I know I would have told you to be gone by morning."

Such a charmer, as always, but at least her words told me that she hadn't opened her eyes either.

I briefly considered trying to silently get out of there before reason, and pride, kicked in. If I tried to move, period, I'd probably throw up. Running was well beyond me. And the idea of leaving Sederis's rooms stark naked wasn't something my ego could survive. Goddess, if Trena saw or heard of it… Athame's ass, no, just no.

And besides, I was comfortable, exhausted, and in pain. Moving was something to be done another time.

Sucking in a breath, I croaked my own words in her general direction. "I don't remember last night, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a girl Sederis."

The breathing beneath my head stopped once again. Then the hand that had inspected my head all but smacked me in the face as she grabbed at me, feeling around until her fingers were touching my goatee and braided mustache. Her voice sounded almost chocked when she replied, "Kean?"

"Yeah." I winced when she tugged at my hair. "Ow."

"Why are you in my _bed_?" She sounded… honestly confused. "Goddess, don't tell me that you're fucking naked."

"I won't tell you that I'm naked." I groaned dutifully, wishing she'd stop talking. It made her breathing irregular and was seriously fucking with my body's honest desire to pass out once again. Which made the little voice screaming at me to get up and run start tearing its hair out in frustration, but I couldn't be bothered to listen to it.

"Athame's fucking azure." Her voice lowered to an unstable sounding hiss, each word coming out clipped and hard. "Get. Off. Of. Me."

I didn't want to, but her tone got me moving by reflex. I shuffled sideways until my head dropped off her stomach and onto the stupidly comfortable bed. Even the minimal motion sent the world rocking a bit, and I had to grit my teeth against a wave of nausea.

Next to me, I felt Sederis start to try and heave herself upright before there was an almost pitiful groan. Knees hit my upper back a moment later, while something pressed against the top of my head. Daring the sunlight, I flicked one eye open and found myself looking at the Warlord's grimacing face as she finished curling up into a ball around my head. Her barely visible facial markings were twisting with the motion, for once making them easy to see.

"I…" She growled in between winces that told me she was fighting back vomiting, "..am going… to kill… gears."

"This…" I felt my own face pull into a frown as I tried to dredge anything of my memories "…is her fault?"

"You don't…." The two words were as far as she got before the Mistress of the Eclipse twisted her face in obvious panic, rose, lurched for the side of her luxurious bed before simply heaving onto the floor.

In the back of my head, the voice that had been all but gibbering in panic abruptly shut up. Then it sighed, and started running me through all of the things I'd wanted to do with my life before dying. After all, there wasn't any point to running, or even attempting to anymore. Once she was done retching she was probably going to boil me with warpfire until there wasn't anything but ash so that no one could claim to have seen her weak like this.

She sort-of liked me at least. Maybe she'd make it fast and break my neck before using the fire to destroy the evidence.

It took her a while to finish, and I tried not to pay attention to the sounds she was making in the process. I managed to hold back for about a minute, until the smell hit me. And then it was my turn to lurch away and to another side of the massive piece of furniture before throwing up. A few minutes later, when all that came out were painful, wracking dry-heaves, I managed to lever myself backwards and away from the mess I'd made on the floor.

I was about to curl into a ball again when a hand grabbed my shoulder and shoved me onto my back. There wasn't time to do more than groan before a warm body all but collapsed onto me, one hand resting on my throat as if she'd been about to strangle me but had simply run out of strength before she could.

"I'm going to kill you." Sederis groaned into my shoulder. "And then gears."

Moving on auto-pilot, there was a naked woman pressed against me after all, my left arm slid down around her back to let my hand rest on her waist. "She mixed the drinks then?"

"Yes." There was a low, warning sound in the back of her throat. "Stop holding me."

"You already said you're going to kill me." I muttered back, keeping my hand where it was, finger tracing her stomach. Sederis's abs were… well, ripped, and the feel of her muscles flexing as she breathed and spoke was entirely pleasant. As was the feeling of her upper chest pressed against my side and pecs. I contented myself with feeling rather than looking. I had the bad feeling that if I looked, parts of me would react in a very male way, and she would react in a very Sederis way. "If you wanted me to stop you should have let me think I could walk away first."

Another almost growl as she turned her head, resting a cheek on my shoulder so she could glare at me as she spoke. "I am starting to hate you, human."

"Join the club." I spoke through a yawn. "Probably is one for hating me. You remember any of last night?"

"No, that's why I'm killing gears. I haven't gotten that drunk since I was a fucking maiden." Even as she spoke she took another shot at murdering me, her fingers trying to wrap around my throat. But once again she seemed to lose interest, simply leaving her hand resting there as she let out a yawn of her own. Her breath was terrible, a mix of alcohol and vomit, but I wasn't about to tell her that. "But from where I hurt I can guess."

I tried not to think about the potential implications of that statement, even if I was more than a little curious. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure you wrenched the crap out of my back."

Sederis snorted. "I did more than that human."

I groaned. "How cut up is it?"

She rolled a shoulder, the motion making her chest press a bit further into my side. "Didn't get more than a glance while you were emptying your guts out, but I gave you some nice gouges. Enjoy explaining those to Athame."

"I won't." I let my eyes close as the grip around my neck squeezed into something tight and constricting.

But for the third time she stopped before really getting going, my lungs inflating with air after not more than five or six seconds as she groaned. "You are so fucking pathetic. Are you even going to _try_ to save your own life?"

"I've seen you fight." I reminded her, not bothering to open my eyes. "What's the point?"

"It's rude." And fuck me if she didn't sound _petulant. "_ And boring. Besides, you're capable, for a human."

My nose flexed as I snorted. "And you're fucking Jona Sederis. I might be able to assassinate you, if I had a six months or a year to plan it out to the last detail, but I'm kind of naked with you laying on top of me."

There was... an intrigued sound. "How would you do it?'

"Do what?" I frowned without opening my eyes. "Kill you?"

"Yes."

"Didn't I just say I'd need months or years to plan?"

A finger tapped the hollow of my throat. "How is what you said relevant?"

"You're as bad as Voya and Trena." I muttered, then promptly started chocking again when she immediately grabbed on and squeezed. I started to struggle instinctively after maybe thirty seconds, and only then did she let go. Once I stopped coughing, and got enough oxygen to my brain for it to function, I croaked out words. "I'd... crap, I haven't really thought about how I'd kill you before."

When she simply tightened her fingers again in warning, I sighed and spoke my thoughts out loud. "Probably quantity over quality, with all of them being from as far away as possible. Programming a shuttle's VI to smash it into yours while you're heading from orbit to the ground maybe. Or the other way around."

"Not placing a bomb in the shuttle itself?" She asked, her tone again becoming curious. "And there's a no-fly zone above my mansion to prevent anything like that."

"Your guards are personally loyal enough, same for the staff. No easy way to sneak in. And I know, that's why it's a low chance, but if it works you're dead and it wouldn't cost me anything." I frowned a little. "Maybe hack one of those flying barges to move below or above your shuttle at the same time to stop the ground guns or your fleet from trying to shoot it down."

Sederis let out a humming noise. "What else would you try? A sniper?"

"Maybe a paid off one. Or a remote piloted mech with a suicide package." I mused. "Tracking down what restaurants you like and bombing them is another option. Incendiary ones to minimize your biotic protection. Or just loading the bombs up in an air-car and sending it in a dive right when you're about to go inside."

"You're obsessed with crashing vehicles into things."

My lips twitched a little. "They've got a lot of mass, they're fast, and they blow up quite nicely. It's effective, and it's not like we pay for them. You know how many bounty targets we've killed by flying cars into them."

"Seven." She replied even though I'd meant it as a statement rather than a question. "A constant no-fly zone above my grounds and a combat air patrol whenever I or my daughters are airborne. I already have engineers go over any building I intend to visit before I arrive, but it wouldn't hurt to increase my perimeter guards for public appearances."

I rolled the shoulder she was laying on. "It would make it more annoying, that's for sure. Why are you asking me this anyway?"

"I am trying to decide if you're useful enough to leave alive." Came the blunt reply. "After all, you are aware that I am no longer quite as unstable as I once was, and have kept your mouth shut. It is possible, I suppose, that you would not mention this night to anyone."

"Ah." I considered that for a few breaths, and then shrugged slightly again. If she wanted to kill me, she'd do so without me being able to do much of anything about it. And besides, I was comfortable again. Yawning tiredly, I spoke through the tail end of it. "Well that's all I really had off the top of my head."

There was a contemplative grunt before I felt her mouth open in a long yawn of her own. "What time is it human?"

"No idea." Her yawn set off yet another, and I felt my arm pulling her warmth closer as exhaustion encroached.

"Told you to stop holding me." She muttered, reaching down to grab one of the blankets and hauling it over us.

"Told me you were going to kill me anyway." I muttered back.

Sederis grunted, tapping my throat lazily with a finger before sliding her arm out to drape across me. "Sleep well human, I'll most likely kill you tomorrow."

I was asleep before she finished the last word. Which was probably a good thing, otherwise I'd have started laughing in her face.


	2. Second Verse

My omni-tool began to blare with an incoming call, the tiny speaker belting out a hideously annoying song that assaulted my ear drums. Each note sent a spike of pain through my skull, oaths in at least five languages rasping their way out of my dry throat as I flailed at the nightstand next to my bed. Several moments of increasingly frantic effort followed, each of which drew more pain and cursing. After maybe ten seconds, something grabbed my other hand and shoved it in front of my face.

The omni-tool was cheerfully blinking at me from around my wrist, and was very much not on the nightstand. And the fingers that held my forearm in a steel grip were very, very blue. Trying not to think about either fact, I flicked a finger for audio-only, and all but snarled at the thing.

"Scales. I'm going to fucking strangle you with your own intestines."

" _Awww, the poor little ape is hungover."_ Trena all but cooed in the same voice she normally reserved for Ethy. " _Who's a tired asshole this morning?"_

I forced my first vicious reply down and settled for glaring at the tiny computer as if she could see it. "Fucking grow up and tell me what you want."

There was a low snort. " _You see where Sederis ended up last night? She didn't come back from her binge run."_

I waited for her to continue, but when she didn't I let out a low growl. "And I care _why?_ She can take care of her bloody self."

" _Because you and I were at the same fucking restaurant she was at, and I figured you might have seen whoever the fuck it was she decided to fuck."_

"You were fucking there too. Behind the bar even." I muttered darkly. "Why didn't you?"

There was a brief pause. " _I was distracted."_

It took me a few moments of thoughts before I let out an annoyed groan. "Ghai was behind the bar too, wasn't she?"

Trena elected to ignore the question entirely. " _Sederis was annoying you about something ape, you sure you didn't see where she went?"_

"No." I retorted shortly. "Now I'm going back to sleep."

" _Ape, don't you fucking-"_ My finger stabbed the button, and blissful silence fell. At least until the stupid thing started to ring again. This time I brought up the full menu, winced at the brightness of the holographic display, and stabbed the ignore-all command.

Letting the omni-tool flick off again, I let the person in bed with me maneuver my arm around, lowering it to the bed before her head dropped onto my shoulder.

"That was the single most hideous ringtone I've ever heard." Jona Sederis muttered flatly, her breath warm on my skin.

I grunted, absently noting that neither of us was dressed.

_Again_.

And I could barely remember much of fucking anything.

_Again._

...shit but my life sucked sometimes. "Annoying, isn't it?"

"Yes." The Warlord sounded as if she was contemplating how much pain she should put me in for waking her up in such a fashion. "For what reason did you not disable that device last night?"

"I wasn't expecting to be accosted in the middle of the night." I pointed out. "And you didn't exactly give me a chance to do so after you arrived."

"I didn't?" The irritation bled into understandable, and very relieving, confusion. At least I wasn't the only one who couldn't remember much of the night before.

My lungs let out a long exhale. "You don't remember?"

"Obviously." And as quickly as it had gone, it was back. A finger slid slowly up my stomach and onto my chest. In any other situation it might have been sensual, but I didn't need to look down to know that flickers of light would be trailing the motion before she tapped my sternum once.

I briefly considered asking if it was really so hard for to ask politely, before another throb of pain in my skull reminded me that I needed water. And preferably to survive the next couple of minutes. "My memory is a bit hazy. I know Voya and I left the bar around midnight. Pretty sure I dropped her off at the Blades' compound then came home. I've got a vivid image of you showing up when I was unlocking the door, then..."

"I assaulted you?" She suggested through an alcohol scented yawn.

I grunted quietly, shifting the arm she was all but laying on so that it ran down her back. My hand began absently trailing its fingertips across her side, feeling the odd texture of Asari skin. "You tackled me through the doorway. I threw you off and had time to close it before you grabbed me again. After that... whole lot of nothing."

The finger rose, then fell against the bone in the center of my chest again. "Are you quite sure about that?"

"Unfortunately." I yawned the word out.

There was a pause in her threatening taps as my yawn caused one of her own. "In what way?"

The shoulder beneath her head rolled in a shrug. "If you're actually going to kill me this time, I'd rather remember the reason."

Sederis went still, then something like a breathy laugh made her... everything move against my side. It lasted a few moments before there was a long, low groan as her head fell back to my shoulder. "Athame's ass. Bloody mixed drinks."

I grunted something in support of that statement as a low throb ran through my own skull. "Trena again."

"Gears." The nickname was a dark mutter. "Why didn't I kill her after the last time?"

"You consider her your third daughter?" I offered, shifting my head a bit to get more comfortable. The hand on her waist shifted as well, pulling her warmth a bit closer. "Though the goddess alone knows why."

The finger on my chest tapped my sternum once. "Human, _why_ are you holding me?"

I considered my words for a few moments before electing to go with the truth. "I enjoy doing so?"

Another threatening tap followed. "Cease."

"Will you kill me if I don't?" I asked, though I was reasonably sure that I knew the answer. The dark flickers of biotic light beginning to surround her forearm more or less making her opinion clear.

"Guess." She murmured, her voice low and dangerous.

Sighing, I relaxed my limb to let her go before allowing my eyes drift closed. My tired brain was trying to analyze the cost-benefit ratio of staying right where I was in comparison to actually getting up and finding water and medication when Sederis made the decision for me. Shifting slightly so that she was no longer resting half-on me, she rapped her entire first against my chest.

"Human, get up. Water and food." There was a short pause. "And where is your shower?"

"That door." I waved my right arm in its direction.

She grunted, but didn't move. Probably because I had yet to either. After maybe a minute of waiting she let out an annoyed growl. "Are you getting up or not?"

"I'm in the process of standing as we speak." I replied easily, not bothering to so much as open my eyes.

There was a brief, somehow incredulous pause. "Which part of this _process_ involves not so much as moving, human?"

"The contemplative part."

"Which part are you contemplating? How long it will take me to kill you, or how much pain you'll be in during that timeframe?"

I contemplated _that_ pair of questions for a few breaths, then sighed and half-heaved myself into a sitting position. It wasn't exactly pleasant; my body felt the need to inform me of everywhere that it hurt. The hangover itself wasn't too bad, the headache severe but not the worst I'd suffered through, and the room was at least darkened enough that it wasn't bothering me.

And for once my stomach wasn't a churning mess either.

Instead the main issue was practically everything else. My back felt like it had two massive knots in it, and my arms were little more than sore rags. Just to add a bit more misery, my neck was stiff enough that it felt like she'd tried to break it at one point during the night. Which was entirely possible. Athame's ass, it was more probable than possible really.

Turning away from her with a wince, I glanced at the floor before reaching down and grabbing the pants I'd worn last night. At least I'd had the sense to bring them back in the bedroom with me, even with everything else that had probably been going on.

Pulling them on, I managed to stand without tipping over, or groaning overmuch. Taking that as a victory, I turned and glanced to where Sederis was still very much burrowed under the blankets, with just her head sticking out as she openly eyed me.

"How much damage?" I asked with a sigh.

Blue lips curled into a smirk so wicked that not even a Vorcha could have pulled it off. "Enough."

Letting out a tired exhale, I could only shake my head and shuffle out of the bedroom. Padding barefoot down the short hallway, I bypassed the guest room that was now my personal workshop before emerging into the far too brightly lit living area. Muttering a curse, I waved my omni-tool to get the windows to polarize enough that the sunlight became little more than a dim glow.

When I managed to get my eyes open again, I tried not to wince. My living room wasn't _quite_ demolished but it wasn't in good shape either. The short table had been shoved into a corner, and half of the couch's pillows had been thrown onto the ground. The second-hand reclining chair was on its side, and was mostly covered in Sederis's clothes from the day before... clothes that looked like they'd been soaked in the rum from the bottle that was resting on the floor, thankfully unbroken, but obviously empty.

Groaning, I let my feet carry me over to the kitchen, deciding that the odds of my surviving telling Sederis that her clothes were ruined would greatly increase if I had food and drink for her. And probably medication, I thought I still had some from the last time Trena had been hiding her hangover from Ghai here.

Finding the tiny bottle of pills didn't take long, and I set it aside along with a tall glass of water. I'd already downed a cold glass of the liquid, and was working slowly through a second as I assembled a Batarian style breakfast, when I heard footsteps. Pausing in the process of pulling slices of bread out of the small heating unit, I glanced up with a frown as Sederis emerged from the hallway.

She wasn't wearing anything, something that I couldn't help but notice that she was very, very good at. Of course her darkening expression at the sight of her expensive Eclipse dress uniform soaked in alcohol was more than enough to kill any lustful thoughts I might have had. That furious look shifted to me, and I wordlessly held up the painkillers and the water.

The Warlord narrowed her eyes, but grunted and padded into the kitchen. Taking them both, I left her to it while I finished assembling the cold cuts and bread.

Handing her the plate once it was ready, I focused on eating small amounts of my own breakfast and downing more water. For her part, Sederis accepted the meal with a slight glance before heading over to sit at my kitchen table. A deft twist ripped the bottle of drugs open, and she wasted little time in downing several before moving onto her food.

I half watched her eat with a mildly bemused air. Not that I hadn't seen her eat something before, though the fact that she was naked did let it a novel air. It was more... it was sometimes hard to remember that Jona Sederis was a person who needed to do things like eat and shower. Typically when I thought about her, which I preferred to avoid doing, it was in the context of her position, her power.

More of a _thing_ than a sapient being… almost like a weapon of mass destruction that just happened to walk around and talk really.

"Human." Sederis growled around a mouthful of food. "You are staring at me like I'm an exotic beast in a zoo."

I snorted quietly. "No, I'm staring at you like I have no idea what to do at this point."

"In order to remain alive, you mean."

"Well," I shrugged a shoulder, eating a small piece of bread to buy myself time to think. "Partly. I think it's more the fact that we had sex last night, and are now eating breakfast together, and that kind of situation usually calls for conversation."

She gave me a flat stare as she sipped from her glass, "Do I look like the kind of person who requires conversation?"

"Fair point." I allowed, resuming my eating. And my attempts to not notice things about the Asari's body. That was made more difficult than it otherwise would have been because I was constantly reminded that, even though I'd slept with her twice now, I didn't have any memories of doing so. And part of me, the suicidal part that didn't care about things like the _fucking warlord glaring at me_ , liked to wonder about things. Like what she'd look like beneath me as her eyes rolled to black.

Letting out a heavy exhale, I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose as I closed my eyes and tried to banish those thoughts.

"Human." The word was little more than a dangerous rumble from her throat. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." I said firmly, trying very much to self-bleach my brain. "Noth-"

With my eyes closed, I had absolutely no warning before the biotic strike hurled me upwards and backwards to slam me into my cabinets. Hitting the wood hurt like a fucking bitch.

Dropping the five feet to floor hurt even more.

Groaning in pain, I curled into a ball and tried not to whimper pathetically as my kitchen swam in and out of focus around me. Things got a little clearer when a tiny kick to one shoulder shoved me onto my back, and a pale blue foot settled onto my throat as Sederis glared down at me.

"Do not lie to me, Cieran Kean." Her voice was as warm as frozen nitrogen, and there was no amusment in her eyes. "Ever."

I managed to croak something affirmative sounding out around the limb choking me to death. Lips pressed together as she regarded me with something like her customary amused disdain, and then she spun around and strode out of my kitchen, leaving me to try and recover my wits.


	3. Round One, Fight

I leaned left a scant breath before a blue fist whipped past where my right eye had just been, snapping my right hand up open-palmed towards my opponents chin in the same motion. Her mouth guard stopped her from biting her own tongue off when the strike landed, but there was still a deep throated noise of pain as she quickly danced back and got her arms up to protect her face.

Not about to let her regroup, I stormed after her, throwing quick jabs at her protection to keep her occupied while I flicked my eyes up and down to find a weak-point in her stance. When I didn't find one, I offered a mental curse before throwing a sharp left punch into her forearms to rock her back, then wound up for a heavy body blow to her stomach.

She'd evidently been waiting for me to try something like that, her lips pulling back in the tiny window between her limbs before she twirled aside, leaving me to waste my strength on empty air. I tried to track her movement and get my left hand up to protect my face and throat, but my body couldn't keep up with my brain's commands.

Her right foot connected with the side of my skull and sent me staggering away from her, an advantage she quickly seized by delivering two more spinning kicks to my left side that kept me off balance and gasping for breath. Some part of my brain recognized a pattern that she'd used earlier, and I felt myself snap both of my arms down on reflex to catch her left foot as she attempted to deliver a blow to my stomach.

There was a muffled curse as she fought to stay balanced with one leg in the air, grinning at the sight of her awkward hopping. She let out a growling sound as she glared back at me, only for her eyes to widen in panic as I hauled her towards me and lowered my shoulder. Her sternum collided with it a breath later, my left hand releasing her leg to grab her other thigh while my right kept a firm grip on her still upraised leg.

Before she could try and recover herself, I heaved her up and clear off the mat before taking her down onto the ground. She hit with a loud smacking sound and a groan of pain as I made sure to let all of my weight fall onto her. Letting go of her legs, I went for her wrists, but even stunned her reaction times were fucking insane.

Jerking her right hand away before my fingers could gain control, she wrapped an arm around my chest and grabbed onto my shirt before hauling it back to choke me. Gasping, I had to lean back to relieve the pressure and get enough room to bat her arm away, which in turn let her buck wildly and throw me off to one side.

Hitting the ground rolling, I came to my feet in a staggering motion as the creeping exhaustion rose a bit higher. She managed to smoothly rise into a crouch, her wild smirk back in place as she prowled towards me. I hated fighting low, my largely Batarian style didn't really account for opponents that were in a stance low enough to leave her head at my thighs.

Grimacing, I quickly dodged a strike at my left knee and fell back a bit, trying to work out some kind of plan.

My opponent, not being an idiot, didn't give me that kind of time. She pursued hard, lashing out at my legs with quick punches and daring me to try and kick at her. I knew better, the second I did she'd grab the leg and probably dislocate it and then pummel me once I'd fallen. So instead I dove right, coming up in as low of a folkstyle stance as my gangly body would allow. She, still hard on my heels, drew up short when I snapped my arms towards her neck. One blue hand batted my own pale limb away, but the other got through to wrap around her skin.

The next minute was largely my attempt to buy some recovery time, letting her wear herself out trying to grapple with me as I used my taller body to put weight on her. Muffled curses came as she tried to back away or twist her head out, her right hand grabbing at my wrist to try and break my grip while her other tried to throw punches at my chest.

Taking a few of those hurt badly enough that I countered by wrapping my free hand down and under that limb, grabbing her shoulder from behind and using the combined leverage to pull her down. An almost pained groan escaped her as she sank to one knee, struggling to keep her back relatively straight against the force I was applying in the opposite direction, my strength attempting to slam her face into the ground as hard as possible.

My only warning was the faint scent of ozone and her left hand abruptly stopping its struggles against my right. The biotic impact was relatively gentle, by her standards. It felt less like a runaway aircar and more like a giant pillow swung by a Krogan Warlord, but in either case I was ripped away from her to land hard on the mat.

My roll back to my feet was anything but graceful, and I gasped and stumbled a bit as I managed it. Thankfully it had taken her a bit to recover as well, and I had enough time to get my arms up to block a hard blow aimed at giving me a concussion. The room was still spinning slight, so I tried to buy myself some more time with a few jabs, but she once again danced back before I could connect on either of the first two.

Punch three turned out to be a mistake, I must have signaled the move in my fugue state, because she spun around with another spin kick that connected with my arm just as it extended fully. Swearing into my own mouth protection, I didn't have the strength left to resist the momentum and the stumble that came with it.

And, sure enough, a sharp kick knocked my legs out from under me before I could even think of turning around, sending me sprawling to the ground. My opponent's weight landed on me a moment later, a hand grabbing my hair and hauling it back hard enough that my back instantly bowed to try and relieve the pain on my scalp. Trying to throw her off only yielded more pressure, and a threatening tap about where my right kidney was. Grimacing at the very real threat, I slapped a hand on the ground twice, then tried not to groan as the pressure eased.

A mouthguard clattered to the floor nearby, and Jona Sederis let out a breathy little chuckle. "Not bad for a human. You actually made me work for it."

I grunted, trying not to show my discomfort as her weight remained firmly on my back. A bit of work got my own protection past my lips and let me reply properly. "Used your biotics. And you ambushed me."

There was a humming sound as her weight shifted. "Your point being?"

My point being that I'd barely had a fucking chance, even without her biotics, given that I'd been working out and sparring all fucking morning. Athame's ass, I'd barely even gotten some protection around my teeth before she'd popped me in the mouth, and shit had only descended further into the deeps from there.

Worse, this wasn't even the first time it had happened in the last month. The Warlord had begun all but attacking me before, after, or even during my usual training sessions. Though she'd avoided the ones that Trena attended, Illyan and Voya had both had ample opportunity to bet on how long I'd last and how much pain I'd be in during that timeframe.

"If I'd ambushed you the same way, you'd have thrown me out the door." I groaned around gasps for air, trying not to sound as irritated and petulant as I felt.

"The door was open." She reminded me, amusement lacing her voice. "You would have simply landed in the hallway and been mildly injured. I would have thrown you out the window if you had attempted it."

"We're on the fourth floor." I reminded her, shifting my skull a bit so that my forehead was resting on the cool floor.

"Your grasp of the obvious remains intact human." There was an almost disgusted sigh as her legs moved, fully shifting all of her weight right into the center of my fucking back. "It is as if you expect a reward for stating such things."

The fingers on my left hand twitched sharply as I gasped out a few more words. "I'm starting to hate you."

"Perhaps an unwise statement," Sederis mused, and I felt fingers shift through my hair to touch the back of my neck. "Considering the current situation."

"You told me never to lie to you." I tried to shift my body to get her off of me, only to grunt as fingers wrapped around my neck and shoved my head back into the ground. The rest of my sentence became a mumble into the floor mat, which only served to irritate me further.

"True, but that does not mean to stupidly state whatever is on your-"

" _What_ in Athame's fucking name is this?" A screech all but cut her off, rising high enough that I groaned at my inability to cover my ears.

"Gears." The Warlord growled, keeping the pressure on my head when I tried to use the distraction to get her the fuck off of me. "What do you want?"

Feet pounded on the ground, a pair of boots appearing out of the corner of my eyes a breath later. "To know what the fucking shit is going on!"

"We _were_ sparring." The elder Asari retorted tartly. " _Now_ we are talking, and _you_ are interrupting."

A scoffing noise came from scales. "How the fuck do you expect him to talk with his face shoved into the ground?"

"I do not. I was simply reminding him that our current positions make stating certain opinions… unwise." The pressure eased and let me turn my head, inhaling heavily as I saw Trena lean over me. She looked extremely confused, and more than a little worried as she visibly tried to work out what the fuck she was seeing.

"Ape." Her head cocked a little. "What the fuck is this?"

I considered my words, and the situation, and then my mouth went off without any input from my higher brain functions. "Your father being a bitch?"

A hand promptly seized my neck again, hauled my head up and then shoved my face right back into the ground. Her other hand added its own pressure to the back of my skull, just to make sure that I couldn't breathe or twist my way out of it.

" _Cieran._ " She all but snapped as I started struggling again. "I will accept your blunt criticisms of my actions, my plans, or my ideas. But I will _not_ accept-"

"Did you just call him by his _name_?" Scales interrupted her again, and I heard her stagger backwards as the pressure abruptly eased, letting me lift my head to recover some more oxygen. "His _first_ name?"

"No. Don't you have-"

A hand abruptly seized my hair, and I found myself staring at Trena from far too fucking close as her eyes widened almost comically. "Cieran, please, by all that Athame has blessed, tell me that you didn't?"

I could only blink and try not to hiss in pain as my abused neck and back went through some more contortions. "Fucking… Didn't what?"

"That you didn't fuck my father!" There was definite desperation in her voice that only grew when I only offered more irritated sounds of pain as I tried squirm enough to get Sederis off of my back while also batting at Trena's hands. She offered a quick curse before more ozone assaulted my nose, a flash of biotic light rippling over my shoulder before the weight on my spine abruptly vanished.

A heartbeat later there was a crashing sound and furious sputtering noises, and the small part of me that was still sane slumped in despair, knowing full well what was coming. Sure enough, scales barely had time to flip me onto my back, which I appreciated, before there was a thundering sound and a blur of noise as Sederis struck her youngest in a flying tackle that sent both of them right out through the room's door and into the hallway.

Curses were followed by glass shattering, servants shouting and screaming, and the duller roar of biotics lashing out.

Sighing, I just laid there on the ground, trying to relax as best I could while awaiting the inevitable conclusion.

It didn't take long, no more than four or five minutes before quick, irritated steps heralded the Warlord's return. A hand slapped at the door controls as she passed them, the icon flicking to yellow to show that she'd locked it as well.

"Can she still walk?" I asked idly, noting a few burns on her work out clothes.

"Yes." Sederis scowled at me as she approached, glaring down her pert nose the entire way. "Threw herself out of a window before slowing her fall onto a balcony. She's likely already at the nearest lounge drinking herself into a stupor."

That sounded entirely like Trena. Of course, the stories and rumors would begin the second she had more than a single drink in her. Shit… I got enough looks from the servants just for what had happened in the war, _now_ I'd also have to deal with same mixed incredulity and sympathy I'd seen them direct to the one night stands trying to sneak their way out of the place in the early hours.

"From the way you're looking at me, this is my fault somehow." I shook my head, but made sure to continue before she could yell at me for stating the obvious once again. "Might I ask why?"

"You didn't immediately deny any liaison between us." She snapped. "As you should have."

"I was too busy struggling to breath." I countered, some of the irritation coming back. "And having my neck wrenched around."

" _That_ ," Her words accompanied a scowl. "Was Gears."

My only reply was to cross my arms and glare up at her, electing to wordlessly note the omission. Her reply came in the form of dark light around her forearms as she crossed them in front of her chest.

"I like you better when you're hungover." I muttered as I heaved myself up into a sitting position, taking my time with the whole standing up process. "So. What's the damage control? Never encountering each other again?"

"I prefer the scenario where I wound you," Her words came in a low growl. "And then throw your body into the ocean to watch the bladefish feast upon it."

I shrugged and got one leg under me, then the other, rising as quickly as I dared. Threats of death and-or pain were becoming… not exactly old, if only because I knew that she absolutely would kill me if pushed, but as I'd told her before; If she well and truly decided to tear my head off, there wasn't crap I could do about it. Of course, admitting that aloud would only see her shift her threats to something else, something I might not be able to easily brush off, so I very firmly kept that thought process to myself.

"I'll make myself scarce for the next century or so then." I offered reasonably once I'd finished standing up. "I'm sure Shyeel wouldn't mind me having my old room at the compound back."

Sederis's eyes narrowed further, the waves visibly crashing against one another within her head. "You would flee?"

I blinked a bit and then frowned at her. "Is my alternative staying here to be killed by you?"

Her head cocked ever so slightly. "I would think the alternative obvious human, or have you lost your capability to grasp such things?"

"Apparently?" I offered, still frowning as I tried to work out what the fuck she was talking about. "Care to reveal it to the stupid human male?"

As I could have guessed, she simply crossed her arms and began glaring at me.

Exhaling, I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. My life had been so much… Well, it had been _slightly_ simpler before I'd woken up with a hangover in Sederis's bed. "In the last three months, we've had drunken sex twice, and neither of us remember what happened. Additionally, you've elected to spar with me… six times now, since you left me in a heap on my own kitchen floor. Am I missing any pieces of evidence?"

"That should be more than sufficient." She stated, her glare becoming a full on glower as her anger rose at my apparent obliviousness. "I expect you to have finished processing it before our next spar."

My eyes narrowed slightly. "When is that going to be?"

"Whenever I decide, human." And with that, she spun on a single heel and all but furiously strode out of the room.

Leaving me alone, which I appreciated… but also leaving me with a puzzle, which I didn't.

"So beating the crap out of me is supposed to be sending some kind of message." I muttered to myself as I got moving towards my bag, grabbing it as I ran my brain through anything that might mean to an Asari. It didn't take me long to come up with nothing, I'd never heard of challenging people to spars meaning anything besides them wanting some training. And Sederis obviously didn't need much of that.

Was it something specific to the culture inside of the Eclipse, or something about Illium? I couldn't think of anything, I mean, it wasn't as if she was a Turian and… wait.

Sederis's last bondmate had been a Turian Warlord, hadn't he? More than a century ago now, before her insanity had fully set in. Was she… trying to _flirt_ with me?

What the actual _fuck_?


	4. Dangerous Decisions

"Well," Ghai mused, her musical voice echoing in our shared mental landscape. "I can't say that I expected that."

"Right?" I shook my head, pacing back and forth on the deserted beach. It had become our preferred meeting grounds during our mind healing sessions, something familiar enough that it wasn't any strain for her to create, and comfortable enough for me that I could be at ease. Though the fact that the waves were frozen in place had been disconcerting the first few times. "Is scales still comatose?"

The Asari shrugged. "Your verbal harpoons struck home quite well, at least the ones where you reminded her that your... _encounters_ with her father were entirely Trena's fault. I believe she is still attempting to deceive her body into mistaking alcohol for water."

I couldn't help but snort. "I'm not even going to ask about what you're going to do to her."

"As amusing as thinking about that would be," Especially since we could both relive her memories of the various things she'd done to her bondmate in the past, "I believe we should focus on your problems."

One of her hands waved as she spoke, and a still image of Jona Sederis obligingly flickered into view on our left. I glanced at it with a scowl, not at all happy when my own memories promptly affected the picture and left her dressed in the clothes she'd elected to wear instead of her rum stained dress uniform the month prior.

My clothes, in specific.

"Stop smiling." I muttered when Ghai immediately flicked a hand to cover her mouth, her eyes creasing as she visibly fought back laughter. The sight of the Warlord wearing that... It wasn't like the plain black shirt and pants were revealing or anything, we were of similar height and despite my slim build my clothes still hung a bit off of her. But... shit, I couldn't help the slight thrum of almost primal possessiveness that went through me. "It's not _that_ funny."

"Of course" Her hand didn't move, and I could practically hear the giggle in each word. "There's nothing amusing about this at all."

Grumbling under my breath, I resumed pacing across the flat sand, pointedly _not_ looking at the still image any further. "How the fuck did this... I mean, _why_?"

"Why do you find her attractive, or why is she interested in you?" Ghai asked brightly.

"She's too terrifying to be attractive." My head shook slightly, "So the latter."

Her eyes widened slightly as she let her hand finally drop, her lips curled upwards ever so slightly. "Why do you insist on lying when I'm in your head?"

I glowered at her in response.

"You've always enjoyed the attentions of... dangerous women." She managed to keep her tones somewhat reasonable. "Though I will allow that Sederis is on a different level, you do seem to enjoy that type."

"I..." Shit. I kind of had to give that one to her. Rane'li had probably been the closest exception, but even she'd never hesitated to resort to violence if it was required. And Sederis might have been on an entirely higher plane of lethality, but I couldn't deny that it lent her a dangerous edge that I found at lest mildly enticing.

"Fine." I allowed darkly, "I think she's attractive, but that doesn't mean I want to _date_ her. She's a bloody warlord, and not exactly the most stable of that crowd."

If Ghai had possessed eyebrows, they would have gone up. "And are you the model of stability, Cieran?"

One of my hands rose to point a finger right at her. "Stop turning this around."

The Asari sighed and rolled her eyes at me. "She obviously wants you, you find her attractive, it is not as though she is proposing an exclusive, long term relationship."

It was my turn to give her a flat look. "Ghai, she's been all but hounding me for _weeks_. And I've seen her have flings, this is... not Sederis wanting a fuck buddy for a night or two. I would have recognized that."

"Would you?" Her lips twitched again. "You are remarkably blind to women showing interest in you if said women are not Batarian."

The remark earned her another glare "You just _had_ to bring that up."

"I'm your mind healer." She reminded me. "Reminding you of your mental blind spots is a requirement of my position. Now, are you going to admit that you do not find the idea of being _with_ her abhorrent, or should I continue leading you in circles?"

My glare became a grimace as I reached up to rub at my temples. "I can't believe I'm even talking about this with you."

"Considering that Voya and Illyan departed for Xentha this morning, I was your only real option." Her lips curled a little once again. "Unless you wished to discuss this with Trena."

"Athame's ass no." I let out a tight breath. "No, I don't reflexively rebel against the notion of being Sederis's... consort, I suppose. I find her attractive and there are aspects to her personality that I don't mind."

"But..." Ghai offered suggestively. "There are parts you do object to?"

"Of course there fucking is. She's _Jona Sederis._ " I waved a hand at the still frame picture of her in demonstration. "I mean, I know I'm not a paragon or anything close to it, but there are lines I don't cross and a few morals that I at least try to cling to even with the business I'm in."

Her expression sobered slightly. "I know."

And she probably did know, better than me even. She'd been alive and around to watch the Eclipse rise, fall as Jona went insane from the loss of both her bondmate and lover, and then rise again as she finally stabilized herself with the help of a healer and lots of psychiatric drugs.

All just in time for the _next_ set of cataclysmic wars to break out.

"But Cieran..." Ghai continued quietly. "Has she crossed any of your lines since she regained her faculties?"

I let out a tight exhale. "Not that I know of, for whatever that's worth. But... shit, it's not what's she's done in the past. I can look past that kind of thing."

"I know." She glanced aside, the mind-scape around us briefly flickering as she fought to keep her own emotions in check. I knew Trena had passed her initiation with the Eclipse nearly two centuries ago, and that she'd never really gotten over what she'd done. Ghai had never revealed, and I'd never asked, what she'd done in her own past.

But Trena had once told me it was bad. Far worse than what she'd done.

And of course there was my own past to consider. It wasn't exactly... clean, though I at least had the excuse of war to temper some of the shit that I'd done. It... well, I would be lying to myself if I'd said that it helped me sleep at night.

"It's what she _could_ do." Ghai allowed. "With your prior lovers, the danger was something you could temper. Something you thought you could control if you were forced to. If Sederis elected to order someone enslaved, or a prisoner violated to break their will... you couldn't stop her."

"No." A hand ran through my long hair. "And she'd kill me for trying."

"Only if you did it in public."

I snorted quietly. "That doesn't really make me feel any better Ghai."

"I know." Two blue hands rose, palms up. "We've been here a while, Cie. Sooner or later you're going to have to decide to accept her advances and see where that leads, or turn her down."

"Or play stupid and pretend to not have noticed." Not that there was much of a chance of that working. "But... dammit."

Her lips quirked slightly. "You're curious about how such a thing might evolve, aren't you?"

"Yes." I muttered. "Plus... Athame's ass but I've been _bored_ since the war ended. All I've done is lounge around and direct troop movements. Never thought I'd actually miss danger but now that peace is here..."

"You have nothing to do with yourself." She snorted quietly and shook her head. "I've heard far worse reasons for starting a relationship."

"Attempting to start one." I pointed out. "Assuming I'm even reading her correctly."

"Assuming that." Ghai agreed. "Do you have some kind of a plan? Please tell me it is more than just asking to take her to bed while standing in some Batarian pose."

"No." My lips twitched before I told her the rough idea I'd come up with. Mostly because... well, as I'd said, I had way too much fucking time on my hands. So on the off chance I decided to make the effort, I'd thrown together a couple of ideas.

"That..." The Asari shook her head once I'd finished, her eyes wide. "Is a bad plan. No, the _worst_ plan I've ever heard. Ever."

I raised an eyebrow. "Zadith Ban."

She blinked twice, then shook her head again. "All right, it's the _second_ worst plan I've ever heard you come up with. She's going to kill you."

"Probably."

Her head shook. "She's going to torture you to death. Then she's going to drag your corpse to Lawson and force her to revive you. Then she's going to torture you to death again."

"Sounds like something she'd do." I agreed.

"In Athame's name... _why_ did you settle on this plan?" Eyes narrowed in my direction. "I can't believe that you're _that_ bored."

"Well..." My shoulders rose and fell. "If it works, it gets her back for all the shit she's put me through over the last month. And if it doesn't, I won't have to worry about much of anything."

"Because you'll be dead." There was a subtle wince across her face, and I felt the meld begin to break. Around us, the simulacrum of a beach began to break apart, vanishing into darkness as her mind withdrew from mine.

"Look on the bright side." I offered in the moments before we separated entirely. "If she does torture me to death, I'm sure she'll let you say I told you so."


	5. Moonlit Romance

Illium's arctic ocean quietly rolled its waves against the beach, the rhythmic noise a pleasant companion to the occasional gusts of wind that tugged at my loose hair. Given the time, it was well after midnight, I could only see the white crests in the moments before they struck the shore, the dim glow of the planet's moon not bright enough for anything more severe.

If not for the season I probably would have had far more company, even despite the time. Nos Astra being as large as it was, there was plenty of people who enjoyed moonlit walks on the beach, but it was currently in the depths of winter... or at least what for winter on the overheated rock.

I liked the cold. It was bracing, clearing my mind as I tried to forget the memories that had once again kept me awake deep into the night.

"Human." The voice was quiet, and more than a little irritated. "This is the third night in a row."

My left shoulder rolled in a tiny little shrug, and I didn't bother to turn around when I replied. "Your point being?"

"My point being that I'm sick of Gears pacing the halls, wondering if you're going to throw yourself into the ocean or not." Sederis snapped, sand shifting beneath her feet as she stomped up to my side. "Why do you insist on brooding out here?"

"This isn't _brooding,_ I build weapons and bombs when I brood." I reminded her, glancing at the warlord as I spoke. Where I was dressed in a dark shirt and loose pants, she was covered head to toe in obnoxious yellow sweats complete with gloves and thick boots. The sole throwback to her usual style was a silken scarf, the white cloth wrapped around her throat.

"That..." I shook my head as my current of thought was thrown entirely off course, "...is the least flattering thing I've ever seen you wearing."

Her upper lip twisted in disgust. "I wouldn't be wearing it if I wasn't stuck out here in the cold trying to understand your insanity."

A snort came out before I could stop it, my right hand waving off towards the aircar she'd flown out here. "So go back to your warm mansion."

Something like a growl accompanied dark light briefly flickering around her arms. "Watch. Your. Tone."

It was my turn to twist my mouth in irritation... but this wasn't the time to put my plan into motion. I was exhausted for one, and I wasn't armed to the teeth for another. Plus, despite the time, this was still a very public venue, and my only real shot at surviving was for it to occur in private.

So I turned away from her, forcing my tones to remain something close to polite. "Sederis, why are you _actually_ out here?"

The Warlord was silent for a long moment, as if taking the time to carefully choose her words. "Brooding over the past does not suit you, human."

"Even I can't repress everything indefinitely." I replied simply, not bothering to look away from the ocean.

She scoffed, shifting around to get between me and the view, her expression one of supreme distaste. "Obviously not. But this? Standing alone in the cold darkness, staring out at the ocean? This is _pathetic._ "

"Would you rather I go out and get drunk? Perhaps go on a killing spree?" I countered, "Maybe terrify a few young Maidens by letting them into my head?"

"That would at least be a better use of your time, but no." She shifted, stepping closer as her eyes narrowed. "I expected you to have worked it out by now."

So that's where this was going. "I did."

Her eyes narrowed even further, becoming little more than angry slits. "Then why are you _here?"_

I felt my eyebrows rise slightly. "Instead of being where, exactly? The sparring room? Your bedroom?"

"Either." She retorted sharply as she took another step closer, lifting a hand to catch some of my hair as the wind whipped it around. "Gears often told me you slept best with someone beside you, or in the aftermath of combat."

"Of course she did." I muttered. Dammit but there were times when I really just wanted to weld that woman's mouth shut. "I am here because I haven't made _my_ decision yet."

Sederis tilted her head slightly, blue fingers idly twining the brown strands around them in a way that made me want to brace myself for pain. "And why have you not? It has been two weeks since our last confrontation, is that not sufficient time for a human male?"

"For most others, perhaps." I allowed, "But I'm not exactly normal, and neither are you. That complicates matters."

Her lips pursed for a moment, then she incline her head in a tiny nod. "Perhaps, but this discussion is not one to have in the open."

She started walking before I could reply, and sure enough her grip tightened on my hair as she did so. Chocking down a sound of pain, and knowing full well she'd rip it out if I didn't get moving, I stumbled and accelerated to try and keep pace with her.

"Would you let go?" I snapped after perhaps thirty paces of her keeping the pressure on my scalp. Stylish as my long hair might have been, I was starting to see the advantages of wearing it shorter.

A sharp tug sent more pain lancing across my scalp, "No."

Growling, I snapped my left arm out and wrapped my forearm around hers and sized her skin near the elbow. The Asari let out a snarl as my fingers pushed hard on the small pressure point there, forcing her grip to loosen even as I yanked hard on her and hauled her back.

Sederis let me pull her, then abruptly twisted herself around. I managed to keep a slight grasp on her ridiculous sweatshirt, my right hand going towards my back, but neither action did me any good when her free hand slammed across my face in...

Well, from a normal person it would have just been a slap. From Sederis, who was probably using her biotics to enhance the blow, it was more like being smited by a fucking Krogan.

I tumbled into the ground as my face exploded in pain, but my attempts to suck in a deep breath was countered by the blue hand suddenly wrapped around my throat as the Warlord regarded me with an arctic expression. She'd settled with a single knee onto my chest, though she was keeping her weight mostly on her other leg... for now, anyway.

Her mouth opened, probably to snarl something at me, but clicked shut as a quiet whirring sound came from between us. The Asari's dark eyes flicked down, narrowing as she regarded the pistol I was pressing against her stomach. It wasn't my preferred weapon, but my custom hand cannon was hardly something suited to carrying around in public, even on Illium.

But at this range, my backup weapon worked just fine.

"I," I tried to keep my voice low and hard, but it was rather hard to do given that my throat was half closed from the pressure of her hand. "Do not like my hair being yanked on."

Sederis shifted her gaze back to meet mine, "I could shove my hand through your throat within a heartbeat."

"Yes." I replied quietly, "And there are some fairly important arteries around your stomach."

Her lips curled slightly as the pressure on my throat eased. "There is the face of the human who told me to 'fuck off' on Omega."

"Which time?" I muttered, carefully pulling my gun back as she got off of me. "And why do you look so fucking happy?"

"Because you remain you." Her smile became something like a smirk as she stood. "Get up human, I have no wish to fill my vehicle with sand."

"You..." I sucked in an irritated breath as I slowly worked my own way to my feet, not quite glaring at the still smirking Asari. "..why do you always have to be so fucking _cryptic_!? I remain me? Why not just say that you _like_ the idea having a consort who doesn't just kowtow to your every bloody whim?"

Sederis rolled her eyes and turned away from me, "Why should I bother stating the obvious when you apparently have a compulsion to do so?"

I seriously considered shooting her in the back, arresting the desire only because she would definitely have her personal barriers up just in case I did. And in either case, being shot in the back would probably just piss her off, and I really didn't feel like having to swim back to shore after she hurled me out into the ocean.

Glowering viciously at the back of her skull, I trudged after her. I had the good sense to stomp the sand off of my boots and brush myself down before approaching the aircar. It was a typically ostentatious luxury model, and her driver had kept it idling while she'd spoken with me.

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes when I saw Sederis pointedly waiting beside the closed rear door, I stepped around her and opened it for her before theatrically bowing and waving an arm at the interior. She gave me a annoyed little glower, but duly climbed inside and allowed me to close the door after her.

Walking around the vehicle, I clambered in on the other side, and had barely seated myself on the surprisingly hard cushions before the driver kicked us off of the beach. Rather than speak with the Warlord, I kept my gaze firmly out of the window, counting the other aircars rising from alleys and rooftops to follow us.

"Only twelve bodyguards?" I snorted quietly. "Someone was in a trusting mood today."

I could feel her eyes narrowing. "You imply that you aren't trustworthy."

"I _am_ an assassin." I reminded her bemusedly, though I kept watching Nos Astra below us rather than look at her. "And a mercenary."

There was a scoff. "You are incredibly capable, for a human, but as you yourself pointed out, I could kill you at any time."

I did turn to look at her then, my lips twitching a little in bemusement. Sederis was lounging at the other end of the broad seat, a glass of clear liquid held negligently in one hand as she regarded me. Her own calm expression shifted upon seeing mine, her dark eyes narrowing as her thoughts visibly crashed against one another.

After a few moments, her mouth curled in what looked like genuine approval. "How many?"

"Grenades or snipers?" I asked, when she simply grinned more widely, I shrugged. "Nynsi agrees with Trena about the whole being alone on the beach thing. She had two of her sniper teams tailing me every night. They were scoped in on you the moment you landed, waiting for me to hit with a nullifier if you tried anything."

A blue hand waved around us, "And my guards?"

"They had Glitch in a parked cargo truck nearby." I rolled a shoulder in a shrug. "It would have kept them busy while I got to their escape vehicles."

"It would have done more than that." She mused, "I still desire to copy the base VI patterns of that machine."

I snorted and shook my head. "Having one psychopathic AI around is quite enough, and we've never been able to figure out just what Rane did to it in the first place."

"Shame." A sigh came as her head shook, but her grin had not faded in the slightest.

My eyes narrowed slightly as I watched her watch me. "You like that I had a plan to kill you on the off chance that you showed up?

"Very much." She leaned forwards, a hand reaching out to brush through my long hair once again. "It reminds me that you are properly paranoid about even those close to you, and that you remain competent even when you are brooding in a pathetic manner."

"Again with the word pathetic." I muttered, turning away again, trying not to feel the gentle tugs on my hair, or notice her slide slightly closer. "You're not improving the odds of me accepting by continuing to use that word."

"You are not improving the chances that I will continue to be interested by acting in such a manner." Sederis countered, her breath warm against my neck. "The next time you desire to wallow in a pool of misery, you will instead locate me so that it can be dealt with more appropriately."

"And if I do not wish to?"

Her laugh turned a shade darker, and my skin tightened as dark energy rippled off of her body before teeth brushed against the side of my neck. "Your wishes are immaterial against my desires, human."

I shivered slightly as she pulled away, and I heard her settle herself back on the other side of the vehicle. When I said nothing in reply, she merely let out another black chuckle and seemed content to allow the rest of the trip to pass in silence.

That worked for me, because I wasn't anyone's fucking _pet,_ my slight arousal her proximity had brought notwithstanding. It was time to put my plan into motion, and time to remind her that I was capable of far more than simple threats.


	6. Round Two, Aftermath

Consciousness returned as rain began falling on my face, the cold liquid stinging at my eyes as I blinked and flinched away from the sensation. Minute as it was, the motion seemed to bring the rest of my body back online... and allowed pain to flood my brain.

I let out a pitiful sound as it washed over me, some analytic part of my mind categorizing the probable issues even as my eyes squeezed shut.

Left forearm, probable break. A clean one, or it had already been set, I thought, I didn't feel the bones pressing my skin out. On the same side, the rain was delivering agonizing pricks into raw flesh... probably burned, or a new brush from a biotic strike. Shifting my right foot confirmed the ankle was swollen and throbbing, I might have twisted it or sprained something.

More petty injuries began to pile up as I focused. Bruising and general soreness, harsher spikes where the damage had probably gotten down to the bone... But it was my head that was the worst. I could practically feel each heartbeat send a rolling throb through my aching skull. Quite curses tumbled from my mouth as I fought the urge to just curl into a ball and whimper.

"Human." An utterly exhausted voice spoke as I twitched a few more times, trying to work out a way to get out of the rain. "You've returned, I see."

"Sederis." I groaned. "What... happened?"

"And of course you do have a concussion." She muttered, sounding more than a little disgusted. Something grabbed onto my clothing, and I began sliding across the ground. It hurt like a bitch, but I couldn't find the strength to resist. "Do you at least remember who you are, human?"

"Yes." I tried not to sag as I felt the rain stop as I stopped moving, she'd probably hauled me under an overhang or something. "Last thing I remember was... breakfast... I think. Who tried to kill me?"

"I did." The pain in my skull redoubled when a finger flicked hard against my forehead. "Obviously."

Oh. It took me a few moments to think through the aching and agony. "I went through with my plan then?"

"Did your plan involve ambushing me with stun grenades and nullfiers, and then repaying the beatings I gave you in the sparring room?"

I winced a little at the answer. "It didn't go well for me then."

"No. It did not." There was the sound of a back hitting stone, followed by a long groan as if she was sliding slowly down to the ground. "I dislocated my own wrist to remove the nullification bracelet during the third sparring round. You, wisely, fled. I pursued."

"Oh goddess." She grabbed me by my shirt again, dragging me a foot or so before heaving my head into what felt like her lap. "I went for my armor, didn't I?"

"You stalled me with hidden bombs and flash grenades in the hallways." Sederis continued speaking as if I hadn't, the same hand beginning to stroke my matted hair. It felt off, like... she was missing fingers, and I got a sinking feeling in my gut. "I will have to talk to the staff about allowing you to so heavily trap my own mansion."

The... petting was both relaxing and awkward, but the proprietary nature of the motions was doing nothing to convince me that I was going to survive more than a couple of minutes. "Is this a precursor to you tearing my head off?"

Typically, the Warlord continued to ignore me. "Although the combinations of grenades that you utilized was quite clever. The incendiaries in particular were annoying, it is going to take the staff days to repair the fire damage. Who did you practice against in preparation? You caught me with a submission net the moment I used a flash-step to close with you, and were already spinning the moment you saw me prepare myself."

"Shyeel, back during the war, but Ithiri helped refresh the motions." I muttered, cautiously opening my eyes. A plain shirt stained with purple blood stretched out above me, terminating in a battered and bruised face. Her right eye was swollen shut, and I'd evidently broken her nose at some point. More blood had already dried from cuts on her face, dark splotches swelling into place around them. "Athame's ass..."

Her lips pulled into a grim little smile, hand raising to let me see the two missing fingers. She'd already had them bandaged, which was something, and the motion let me see medigel patches beneath rips in her clothing. She must have already called a medic for herself. "You came closer than most. Four of my ribs were broken, and I'm biotically exhausted."

"You sound it." Bringing my left arm up, I grunted in slight surprise to already find a cast around it. So she'd had my wounds tended to... she just hadn't had them administer any anesthetic, or it had already worn of. Lovely. "And it couldn't have been that close; you can still walk."

"You would not call it close because you have appropriately high expectations." She murmured approvingly. "I will admit to being on stimulants and pain killers, you pushed me quite hard human."

I supposed I could take that as something... I wasn't sure what, it sure as fuck wasn't a win, but at least she hadn't just pummeled me without me getting some strikes of my own off. "How long was I out of it?"

"Nearly two hours." She shrugged a little stiffly, her mangled hand returning to my hair. "You were awake but vacant."

A quiet grunt escaped my throat at that bit of information. At least I hadn't suffered some kind of emotional breakdown, or started rambling about nothing in particular...it was always a lottery with hits to the head. "I'm guessing my armor is trashed?"

"Your armor. Seven luxury aircars. Three shuttles. The hanger will be unusable for quite some time, never-mind the damage to the various hallways between it and the sparring rooms." Another shrug was accompanied by her single good eye glancing down at me, her lips curling again. "I had thought it was taking you too long to respond after our last few discussions, but I will admit to being surprised at the depths of your preparation."

I regarded her in turn for a few breaths, then snorted quietly as I finally placed the emotion hidden by her bruising and pain. "You're ecstatic right now, aren't you?"

"You spent the last month turning my own home into a trap, co-opted my own daughter to prepare combat maneuvers, ambushed me in my own bedroom, and then you _beat_ me to avenge the petty pain I dealt unto you." She leaned down to better regard me, her tone lowering to something husky. "And when I lashed out and attempted to harm you in return, you fought your way to your power armor and attempted to end my life."

My throat worked as I swallowed, "You're thrilled."

"Exceedingly so. I was beginning to wonder if you were truly worth my time, that wondering has ceased." The Asari all but purred the words, her awkward hand sliding around to trace the edges of her fingers along my throat. "You truly would have killed me, yes?"

"If I went for my power armor, yeah." I leaned my head a bit to the left, and tried not to groan as she took the hint and began to massage the sore muscles there. "That was pretty much my last resort if I thought you were seriously going to kill me... it would have been my only option to try and take you down with me."

Fingernails scratched at me, though not in a painful fashion. "I will admit that today was the most... fun, that I have had since the war ended."

"That's... very you." I chuckled, wincing at the pain that even slight laughter brought. "Fucking shit. Ribs."

"Warpfire lance." She informed me casually, "I resorted to using them after one of your shots took my fingers and I truly realized that you were serious. It breached your armor but only grazed you."

I'd assumed it grazed me, a direct strike would have assuredly killed me. Shit, I didn't doubt that the concentrated biotic strike had burned its way through the front of the exoskeleton, through the internal systems, and then right out through the back plates to destroy something else.

"Lances?" My eyes closed as I tried to steady my breathing. "Been a long time since I've seen you use those."

"I rarely need to." Warm fingertips trailed around my neck and over my face, "Though I will confess to being disappointed with myself. I should not have struck your head so hard when I pulled you from the wreck of your armor. It is... unfair, that you cannot remember the battle."

I couldn't remember anything else we'd done, so not remembering the fight seemed typical. "Why?"

Navy light flickered across my closed eyes, and I went very still as she let the dark energy rise and then dissipate. "You enjoy the danger as much as I, human."

Which was at least partially true, but there was definitely part of me that wasn't upset to have missed out on at least some of the agony. "I enjoy the personal danger, but battle doesn't thrill me like it does you."

There was an annoyed sounding sigh. "I am aware. You are like Leska in that regard... I cannot claim to understand it in either case."

I twitched my right shoulder in a tiny shrug. Truth be told, Leska had always been my favorite Sederis to work with for exactly that reason. "Just because I'm _good_ at fighting doesn't mean that I actually enjoy the process of it."

"Nonsensical." The word was little more than a mutter.

I merely shrugged again, the corners of my lips twitching up as another thought struck me. "Then again, it would have been nice to remember being able to hit you-"

Her hand whacked across my skull, making me bite my tongue as the impact made the world spin even with my eyes shut. "Care to rephrase that, human?"

"No." I shuddered and spoke through clenched teeth. "Might throw up on you if you do that again."

"Weakling." She admonished, but I felt her hands resume their slight stroking of my hair. It still wasn't exactly soothing, but it was better than her hitting me again. "Typical human. All thundering fire compensating for thin skin."

My lips pursed as I took a steadying breath, "I had power armor for a reason."

"Had." And there was definite fucking smugness in her voice. "It will likely be easier to purchase a new set then repair the wreck behind us."

I'd put a lot of goddess-damned hours into that suit... shit. "That bad?"

The Warlord made an affirmative sound, and then let out wheezing laughter when I groaned and went even more limp. "Come now, human. You barely used that hulk as it was."

Which was true, I hadn't actually used the suit in combat in years, but it was the principle of the thing. I liked having it as an option on the off chance that I did have to take to the field in a more active role than my usual missions called for. I'd have to order a new suit from Nynsi, maybe I'd be able to salvage something from the apparent 'hulk' inside.

Besides... if I ever had to try and take her on once again, I'd need a new suit. "No, but I'll need a new one."

Her voice turned sly, "With plenty of anti-biotic weaponry?"

"Always liked flamethrowers." I mused. "Maybe I could mount one on a forearm... or maybe a short-duration mount beneath the main gun."

"I'm surprised you didn't already consider such a thing." Sederis sounded intrigued, even though I was working out ways to kill her the next time we fought. "It would have been useful against the indoctrinated and the fallen."

"Incendiary grenades in the shoulder mounts worked fine against them," I replied, "I'm guessing you were bouncing around too much for me to ever hit you with those."

"Obviously." Pain radiated from my temple when she flicked it with a finger, "Move, human."

I didn't want to, her thighs were an exceedingly comfortable pillow. Glowering, I reached my right hand down and checked my belt... and found nothing. "You took my gun."

The Asari let out an annoyed scoff, probably because I'd stated the obvious aloud once again, before pushing at my shoulders to shove me away. I kept my head from smacking on the ground and muttered a few uncomplimentary things about her as she slowly stood.

My low tones apparently weren't low enough, because she made sure to step _on_ my right shin as she moved to stand beside me. "You need to rise as well, human. I am sure the doctors will demand you take medication and rest."

I glowered at her as she looked over her shoulder at me, very much not moving, very much not turning away and giving me a chance to kick the back of her left knee as hard as I could. After twenty seconds of staring went past, I gave up and let out a long sigh. "You're supposed to be cocky and turn your back on me right now."

She gave me a smile that was all teeth. "I like my knees as they are, human. Your precious weapon will be returned to you when I feel it appropriate to do so. Now get up."

I kept glaring at her, not moving for several long moments just to make it clear that I wasn't getting up just because she'd told me to do so. The walking boot that the medics had apparently put around my right foot didn't help matters, nor did the cast on my left arm, or the fact that I needed to take long breaths every twenty seconds or so to help maintain my balance. All in all it took me a few minutes, especially since she offered absolutely no help during the process.

Not that had I expected any from her, but by the goddess the little smirk on her face pissed me off. "You can stop enjoying my pain anytime now."

"Why would I do such a thing?" I staggered back in time to evade an almost playful flick at my burned ribs. "After all, I will certainly be enjoying it tonight."

It took a few moments for that wave to crash on the beach. "What... No. Very much no. I am not into that."

Her one eye rolled as she moved to stand beside me, ushering me forwards. "I am aware, human. But we are both quite injured, pain will be inevitable. Now cease complaining and go to my rooms. Your medication will be waiting for you."

I kept staring at her, wishing that I could be surprised. "I'll consider it."

Two arms very slowly crossed in front of her chest, and her voice lowered to something quitely serious. "Our battle was anything but private, Cieran."

Meaning I didn't really have a choice. If I went to her rooms, she could frame this as a lover's tiff... or as spectacularly violent foreplay. If I didn't, she'd have a lot of subordinates wondering just why the fuck she left me alive after I'd obviously tried to kill her. That potential issue had been one of the major reasons I'd wanted to keep the results of my plan private in the first place.

She didn't _want_ to kill me, not after how much fun she'd evidently had trying to kill me... but she was a Terminus Warlord.

I let out an annoyed breath. "Fine, I'll be there, but sex is going to be entirely dependent on how much pain I'm in."

Jona gave me a wicked little smirk as she backed away, still not turning her back on me. "If it pleases you to think that."

I could only watch as she departed, eventually turning. The bloodstained clothes, medigel patches, slight limp, and mangled hand all should have detracted from bodily appeal... but I still found myself checking out her ass as she walked away.


	7. Awkward Questions

There was a subtle blur of motion in my peripheral vision, my body snapping in a quick twisting motion on reflex as my right arm snapped up. An Asari slammed back into existence not more than a few feet away, her shotgun blasting through the space I had just occupied. She didn't have time to correct her aim before the submission net racketed out from the launcher on my forearm, wrapping around her as it crackled to life.

She promptly dropped, shrieking and convulsing as it set her nervous system alight. I could only sigh, stepping over her and putting a single round through her unprotected skull as I responded to the person on the radio. "Scales, I'm not having this conversation while I'm on a job."

" _You don't want to have this conversation period._ " Trena replied tartly. " _She's eighteen times your age!"_

"I can do basic math scales." Shaking my head, I dropped to a knee and and grabbed the dead woman's omni-tool. Activating my own, I let a few of Voya's hacking algorithms loose and waited for them to get me what I needed. "She's also your parent."

There was an irritated sound. " _Athame's fucking ass, I'm aware of what she is ape! More than you are, apparently. She's going to throw you into the breakers and laugh as you die."_

"I'll admit the possibility." I grunted, then grimaced as a door to the servant's passages slid open. "One second."

Trena let out a few more quiet curses, but it wasn't anything that I couldn't tune out as I rose and darted forwards in long, loping strides. My new guest in the back rooms was a younger human male, his head shaved and lowered as he pushed a cart piled with dirty dishware. The rattling entirely obscured my footfalls, and he didn't so much as look around before I grabbed him from behind.

His scream was cut off by an armored hand clamping around his mouth, my other seizing his shoulder in a grip that was probably painful as fuck. Pulling him away from his little contraption, I used the leverage to push him to his knees and twist his head so that he could see me.

"Good evening." I murmured through my helmet. "Are you indentured?"

He nodded as best he could, his eyes wide with fear as he stared at the faceless mask that was my helmet.

I nodded in return, then shifted my hand from my shoulder to his neck and got a proper grip around his throat. His panicked flailing didn't last long, subsiding as I chocked him out in a matter of moments. I held on a bit longer than was strictly necessary, just to be sure that he was out, then lowered his limp frame down to the ground.

" _You done yet?"_ Trena asked irritably.

"By the goddess but you're impatient." I replied with some heat of my own, giving my omni-tool a quick check to confirm that I had the data. "Why are you still on about this? It's not like you're going to change my mind. Or hers."

" _I'm hoping for a fucking miracle."_ She muttered, " _And do you have any idea how awkward seeing you two together is?"_

"Not really, no." I admitted, getting moving down the thin hallway once again. My HUD flickered, updating as Voya's code finished infiltrating the local net. I'd already dropped five guards, none of whom had been able to set off an alarm, but I only had six minutes until the next designated check-in. "I don't have much experience with the whole family thing, remember?"

There was a grunt, somehow conveying acknowledgment of my point. _"Well it's awkward as shit, I nearly vomit every morning."_

My shoulders rose and fell in a shrug she couldn't see. "So head back to Omega. Nara and Joa would be happy to see you again."

" _Happy to throw a ship filled with paperwork at me you mean."_ Trena groused, " _Speaking of those two, they've been bitching to me, wondering when you're going to get back to your real job."_

"I'm doing my real job as we speak." I slowed to a halt in front of a small doorway, rechecking my map before nodding and flicking it open and lowering my voice. "If they didn't want me to delegate crap to them they shouldn't have been so good at their jobs."

" _Oh please."_ I could hear the sneer in her voice, " _The only reason you're still on Illium is because you and my father... goddess I nearly just threw up thinking about it."_

"Don't like the mental picture of us having sex?" I couldn't help but ask as I accelerated into a quick lope, moving down a broad hallway before ducking into an empty conference room. Ignoring the retching sounds now coming from my speakers, I quickly rechecked the blueprints I'd stolen before starting to pull explosive charges from my back. "Really scales?"

Her voice was little more than a raspy snarl when she replied, " _I'm going to fucking kill you ape."_

"Mmhmm." I hummed, focusing on making sure that the charges had the right timers as I attached them to the cheap ceiling tiles. "You do remember that our relationship began because you got us both blackout drunk, right?'

Broken, furious sputtering sounds made me grin as I set the final explosive, heading back into the hallway after checking both directions. Moving down the hall, the quiet clatter of boots on the floor made me curse sub-vocally before ducking through a doorway that proved to contain several deactivated cleaning drones.

Exhaling as I waited for the guards to move past, and conscious of the time, I tried to at least remove the distraction still muttering across my comms. "I get that it's awkward Scales, and I also get that it is exceedingly dangerous to be with her and that I have no idea where this is even going."

" _Which is mostly why you're doing it."_

I didn't bother denying that. "My point is that I'm aware of the situation and that I can handle myself."

She let out an annoyed scoff. " _And my fucking point is that I get why you're doing it. I don't like it, but I fucking get it. My question is why the fuck she's with you."_

"That hurts scales, it really does." I quieted down as the footsteps grew, chattering Asari voices passing the doorway without stopping. "Am I that ugly?"

" _Your fur does you no favors ape, but my father's always had fucked up taste."_

I frowned a little when she didn't add any more friendly insults, resiting the urge to fidget as I waited a few moments longer. "Where are you going with this?"

" _It's... shit."_ She broke off for a moment, as if bracing herself, then forced the words out in a rush. " _Is she pregnant?"_

"No!" The word came out on reflex, my heart clenching as something like a panic made me stagger.

" _You know that ape!?"_ Her voice was slightly tinged with hysteria. " _You were both black-out drunk, she wouldn't even remember, just like Ghai didn't."_

I swallowed, clenching my hands around the weapons on my belt to try and steady myself. Sederis? Pregnant? From _me?_ The notion was... somewhat horrifying to contemplate. Trena was, in all honesty, the most stable of her children and that wasn't really saying much. And I was a goddess-damned _mercenary_. I murdered people for a living. "No, she's not, but thank you for sending my paranoia into overdrive."

Trena scoffed " _And how would you know? It's been two months since the second time, and we don't start to show until three."_

"I..." I swore as my timer flashed an alert, at the same time as another light began to flash across my HUD. "We'll discuss this later, I'm low on time before the charges detonate."

Trena grunted and cut the line without another word, letting me bring the new person in even as I darted back out into the mansion's hallway and resumed heading towards my target. "Sederis, I'm in the middle of a job."

I was also damn near having a goddess-damned attack and wondering if... no, I couldn't go there.

" _Human._ " Sederis replied tartly. " _Your continuing absence is obvious."_

And she was annoyed about it. It was a fight to keep my own voice level amid my now turbulent emotions. "I said I'd be back by evening."

" _And I informed you that wasn't good enough._ " My...whatever she was growled back. " _Who are you even hunting?"_

"Matriarch T'Nesh." Turning a corner, I lengthened my strides and tried not to grimace as the timer kept creeping down. Stay on mission... I had to stay on mission, I could try and find a way to ask her later. "Wanted by the Citadel for... slaving I think."

" _You think?_ " Her voice became a low mutter. " _I don't recall her bounty being so high as to warrant your involvement."_

"It's not." I admitted. "This is for personal reasons."

There wasn't anything wrong with Sederis's brain, and her tones became sharp and fare more approving as she worked it out. " _She is why that bitch is on my planet?"_

"Yep." Drawing my SMG from my belt, I gave it a quick once over as I slowed and ignored the sudden screaming coming from behind me. Someone had found the bodies then, though it had taken them longer than I'd thought. "One minute."

" _No."_ Sederis growled, _"Cut me into your helmet feed. Now."_

"Do it yourself." I replied flatly, watching as the spinning numbers all flicked to zero.

The building shuddered as explosives began detonating throughout the place, alarms screeching as firefighting equipment tried to activate. Not that it ever would, I'd been sure to disable the main systems to make sure that whatever fires were started kept going for as long as possible. Although that was really a secondary effect, the primary purpose had been to destroy the various servers and other control equipment located in the rooms above and next to the bombs that I'd placed.

Guards promptly began to spill chaotically out of the lounge I'd stopped beside, cursing and demanding answers into their comms as they tried to figure out what was happening. Most of them were Turians, which meant they were in armor, but few had bothered with helmets. They probably didn't see the need considering that they weren't on active duty. The remainder were Asari, who were typically wearing as little armor as they thought they could get away with.

The stupid idiots.

Not bothering with my gun, I flicked my left hand across my waist, priming a grenade in the same motion that I used to lob it at them. It was one of my preferred models, a Batarian-made incendiary type that did some fairly awful things to flesh, and the biotic barriers a few of the Asari threw up did nothing to block the blazing heat that quickly broke their concentration as their skin blistered and burned.

I made sure to seal my helmet before the stench reached me, and I didn't focus too heavily on the remains thrashing about on the ground.

I didn't particularly feel bad about killing them. Despite my flippant words to Sederis, I knew exactly what kind of business that T'Nesh had been involved in, and what she'd had her people doing. They deserved worse than a bit of pain on their way to the Goddess, but I wasn't that type of assassin.

Usually.

Surging forwards, I seized my weapon in both hands to keep it steady and started firing in tight bursts as the most tardy guards stumbled back from the blazing napalm still burning its way through their friends. More colored blood sprayed as three Turians dropped from head and neck shots, and then I was turning around to deal with the wounded on the ground.

An irritated sound came from the speakers in my helmet even as I finished up and got moving again. " _Pathetically one sided. If you are forcing me to wait for you, human, you could at least make it interesting."_

"We have very different definitions of that word." I muttered as I collapsed my weapon, ignoring a pair of screaming servants as I turned another corner, following the signs to the mansion's main garage. It wasn't far, and my long legs ate up the distance quite quickly.

There was yet another growling sound when I offered no further banter. " _Human, what did Gears say to you?"_

My lips twisted. "Monitoring my calls now?"

" _Always."_ She replied coolly. " _Now answer."_

"Kind of busy." I deflected as I raced through a doorway, the wide expanse of a hanger surrounding me. One luxurious aircar was already online, hovering a foot or two off the ground as it obstinately waited for the mansion's owner to arrive.

T'Nesh, dressed in a fine nightgown, was halfway to it, a pair of her fellow Asari in commando armor on either side of her.

Even from a distance I could see her eyes widen in shock, and one of the guards shoved hard at her back as she saw my war gauntlets blaze to life, "Run mistress!"

Competent guards were rare, and I immediately prioritized her. The nullification grenade detonated at their feet as I broke into a sprint to close the distance, two of the three Asari reeling from the effects.

The competent one knew better than to remain where she was, and hurled herself down and to the side, rolling away even as I flung out another incendiary grenade. The motion saved her even as it doomed her companion, leaving the slower woman to take the hit directly. Her revealing armor provided little protection against the burning jelly, and her shrieks made my ears ring as she fell and began to thrash.

Ignoring T'Nesh's screams as she tore her burning dress away, I adjusted my course and got to the remaining guard as she spun up to her feet and tried to snap-fire her shotgun in the process. The Disciple's shot hammered down the barriers on my left side, but couldn't penetrate the armor beneath.

My right fist collided with the gun before she could fire again. The hard light generated by my gauntlet detonating in a directed explosion, sending the weapon flying from her hands, and I quickly followed it with a left handed haymaker that collided with her skull.

A heavy sigh echoed around my ears as the corpse collapsed. " _So droll."_

Ignoring her, I spun on a heel and strode towards the now scantily clad Matriarch was trying to stumble her way to the still waiting car.

"Whoever is driving that thing can leave with their life." I called as I moved, "Provided they get out and do so immediately."

It took the driver all of a heartbeat to make the decision, the car slamming to the ground as its engines cut out. I caught a brief glimpse of an Asari as she dove out the other side, sprinting straight for the exit and not sparing a single glance at her boss even as the older Asari sobbed and screamed for her to come back.

" _Smart girl."_ Sederis mused. " _Are you going to answer my question or am I going to have to torture it out of you later?"_

Flicking my microphone on, I spoke to the Asari who was actually present. "Would you stop screaming already? You're barely burned."

The Matriarch whimpered, falling onto her side as she pressed her shoulders against her aircar. "Who are you!?"

"My name is Kean." Her blue skin paled to something unhealthy. "And you have a nice little bounty on your head thanks to those slaves you've been selling as indentured servants."

"I... I... there's no proof of-"

I didn't really want to listen to her deny it, so I grabbed a nullification collar from my belt. She tried to stop me from attaching it, but either the burns were affecting her concentration or she was as poor a fighter as the profile I had indicated. Her flailing and sputtering biotics stopped when the metal clicked shut around her neck.

"There's an explosive in that." I advised her as I rose, "So don't bother running unless you'd rather end up with a hole in your neck."

Mutters about how this couldn't be happening were easily ignored, as were the equally pathetic bribes she tried to offer as I began to inspect the garage more properly. If Captain Vasir was right about the timing, I shouldn't have to wait long.

" _Human."_

The definite anger in her voice made me sigh. "Trena... thinks you're pregnant."

Dead silence was followed by an utterly flat, " _What._ "

"Yeah... you aren't, are you?"

" _No."_ She scoffed, and I found myself sagging in relief. " _And seriously human? That is what had you so concerned?"_

"I'm..." I exhaled, glancing at the other entrances to the garage to make sure more guards weren't about to show up. "Not exactly father material, Jona."

There was a quiet sound. " _Perhaps._ "

My lips twitched at her unusually soft tone, and the implications of that single word, but a thundering noise cut off the questions I wanted to ask. Turning to my left, I watched as a heavy combat shuttle roared down just outside, hovering as its doors swung open to reveal a pair of armored figures. "We'll have to talk about it later, she's here."

And just like that her voice returned to its normal viscous amusement. " _Make the bitch lose her shit and I'll let you lead tonight._ "

That was easy enough and she knew it... especially since Trena had given me an idea. A quick look confirmed that T'Nesh was still in place, her hands futilely trying to pry the collar off of her neck. Ignoring her, I strode forwards and waved affably.

"Hey Shepard." I greeted as she not-quite stomped towards me. "What brings you to Illium?"

The Spectre reached up to yank her helmet off, her glowing blue eyes narrowing furiously as she glared at me. "Kean... I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you've ruined yet _another_ candidate's mission. Who was it this time, Aethyta or Vasir?"

"Asking me for my sources already?" I snorted and shook my head, "As if I would tell you so easily."

Her lips pressed together. "You'd tell Liara."

"That's because your bondmate scares the crap out of me in ways that you don't." I replied reasonably, but only after checking to make sure that Liara wasn't lurking back near the shuttle. "Congratulations by the way"

Shepard had been about to turn around to face her current Spectre candidate, a tall Turian male who looked like he had no idea what was going on, but at my comment she blinked and turned back to me. "What are you talking about?"

I tried to affect a tone of surprise, glad that my helmet concealed my amused grin. "Aethyta told me about Liara."

"She told you about Liara?" More blinking. "What are you talking about?"

My arms crossed my chest as I tried to look like I was annoyed at her for not getting something obvious. "That she's expecting."

I was never more glad for the fact that my helmet cameras recorded everything than I was in that moment. Sederis began howling with amusement as Shepard's synthetic skin paled, her glowing eyes widened, and her entire body seemed to waver in place as her mouth opened and closed without any words coming out.

"I'm surprised you've kept it out of the tabloids so far." I have no idea how I kept my voice even as I kept twisting the knife, "But knowing the old fish it probably will be all over the planet before long. Honestly Shep, why did you tell her at all if you're trying to keep it quiet?"

"We didn't... she's not..." The senior Spectre sucked in a breath, "Venetis, take the prisoner into custody and have I-Sec case the building."

"Ma'am." The Turian fled with respectable alacrity, grabbing the still sobbing Matriarch and hauling her to her feet.

As they departed, Shepard surged forwards into my personal space, her hands seizing my armor as she growled. "Kean, you're going to fucking explain just what Aethyta... oh you _son of a bitch._ "

I couldn't help my laughter, my body shuddering as I let some of my own tension out. "By the goddess but your face..."

She slapped me hard enough to knock my helmet slightly askew, muttering vicious Khellish curses that she had to have learned from Tali. "Why the fuck do I put up with your shit?"

"I have no idea." Fixing my helmet as I spoke, I couldn't help but smile a little as we both settled into our usual banter. We weren't exactly friends, and probably never would be, but we respected the crap out of each other. "How's being a Spectre?"

"Same as ever." She sighed. "How's being a mercenary?"

"Boring." I admitted. "Even the Terminus is quiet these days. Spending most of my time just lazing around Sederis's mansion."

"Sederis?" Synthetic eyes blinked. "Why the hell are you staying with her?"

" _You had best choose your words with care, human._ "

"She's not that bad, once you get to know her." I spoke the cliché slowly, trying to think of something else to say that wouldn't reveal that I was sleeping with her. "Plus that's where Trena and Ghai are staying with their daughter."

From Sederis's harrumphing noise my choice of words hadn't been perfect, but since she wasn't bitching me out I thought I hadn't phrased it badly either.

Shepard grunted quietly, "She's probably _worse_ when you get to know her, but I can understand keeping close to friends. I need to oversee the rest of this, and you need to get out of here if you don't want to be stuck filling out paperwork."

I very much didn't, but just letting me leave wasn't much like Shepard either. "Letting me go without torturing me a bit?"

Her lips twisted a little. "It was Aethyta, wasn't it?"

"Of course." I shrugged, "She's got some grand plan that involves annoying you so much that you quit being a Spectre and just become a stay at home parent for however many kids Liara pops out."

"And you're helping because you have nothing better to do." She muttered the words darkly. "Get out of here Kean."

_"She's not done with this."_

No shit. I frowned even as I took a step back, prepared to head around her before leaving. "...Liara _is_ on planet, isn't she?"

Shepard's answer was a tooth filled grin.


End file.
